When you don’t know why
“But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10 NIV)
I had a terrible crying spell this morning.
The first time I had one of these mysterious crying spells one morning in 2019, I didn’t understand it. It lasted a long time too. I just couldn’t pull myself together for the life of me. What was wrong?
When I found out that my brain trauma was responsible for periodic crying spells and unexplained moments of deep sadness, I was relieved to know why I had been having meltdowns, but that didn’t make those awful emotional storms any easier to handle. When nothing was obviously wrong, suddenly, it would feel like the weight of the world was crashing down on me.
That’s what happened to me again this morning.
I woke up at 5 a.m. feeling fine. A couple of hours later, I was involuntarily transported to that dark place. Man, it was so dark. I could only sob, pray, and wait for the crying spell to pass. It did pass by God’s grace, and I regained my balance. But now, I’m feeling pretty drained. It's just a side effect I can’t control. Nevertheless, I trust God who is always in control. He’s more than able to complete the work!
In the meantime, as I trust Him, I’ll admit that I don’t know why He is allowing me to go through this. But He knows why, and He has a plan. I simply rest in that, and you can too! Scripture assures each of us that God knows our path and that we’ll make it through life’s tests. Still, I assure you, no matter how full of the Holy Spirit you may be, the testing phase, the not knowing phase, the dark phase, the I-don’t-have-any-answers phase, doesn’t feel good.
At all.
Can the church say amen?
Let’s be honest. When you can’t answer the why, how, when, what or who questions of life, it can feel deeply unsettling, confusing, and frustrating. Uncertainty, especially when it lasts a long time, can be mentally, emotionally, and spiritually exhausting. But even when you’re tired, one thing I know is, as long as you trust God, the One who knows all things, you’ll get through it.
Friend, not only does God know the answers to your why, how, when, what and who questions, but He also has a way of bringing things together in unexpected, amazing ways. I’ve seen Him perform miracles, make ways out of no way and blow my mind repeatedly. I know too much about Him to doubt Him. I choose to believe as I wait. Crying spells or no crying spells, I know in Whom I believe. My brain and emotions may tag-team and evoke a negative emotional response, but emotions can’t shake my faith.
When you don’t know know why, you, just like me, have to choose faith, and wait on the Lord. At all times, believe that He will reveal the fullness of His plan in due season. It may take some time, but He won’t let you down.
Through tears, wait and trust. When it gets really hard, wait and trust. When you feel like giving up, wait and trust. The storm will pass. The test will end. And just as Job 23:10 says, you’ll come forth as gold and shine brightly for the glory of God.
Let’s believe that together all throughout 2021 and beyond.
And by the way, Happy New Year. Now let’s pray.
God, tests and trials are hard, but I trust You. I don’t know why You allow certain storms, but thank You for being my shelter through them all. Despite how it may look or feel, I will wait upon You and trust in You at all times. I know that You will rescue me and get glory through me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Get more inspiration from Dianna Hobbs weekdays, Monday through Friday, right here on Your Daily Cup of Inspiration. Be sure to catch up on encouragement that you missed, and if you need prayer, don’t hesitate to ask for it here. The ministry team is standing by 24 hours a day, 7 days per week, to intercede. Until next time, stay encouraged.
